A feel of life after after-life.

I was just reading through one of my friend's blog and realized its been pretty long since I wrote one. And also wondered has there been any good actions in the past to even write about??? Oh...Not good...but bad anyways!

Good or bad...Part of life. One can not ignore the bad days after all.

3rd June 09
I enter home after a very tiring day with no work. As usual i see my mom on the dining chair and dad on the sofa, but something different i noticed in thier face. They were smiling at me with an expectation 'guess what's up??'. I then noticed someone's leg hanging from the deewan behind the screen. I went closer and lo 'Mere Uncle' was in all smiles. I touch his feet (a normal gesture in our culture when we meet someone elderly after a long time) and immediately question him 'Uncle, what's wrong with your health, you have put down drastically!!!'. I turn to my mum and order, 'Mum, let's prepare nice thick Dal, some chicken, and nice Aloo ka Bharta, Rice, Kheer for him for dinner'. I day dreamed at night expecting Uncle to just bloat out within 8 hrs of time with the food. And I confirmed with Uncle if he was fine with the menu. He only smiled and said 'Meri beti jo khilayegi, khalunga'. But little did I know that he had diabetes which means he can not have Rice, Aloo ka bharta and kheer. and little did I know he had a huge ulcer in his stomach that he can not have anything spicy. and little did I know he is a veggie man. with all the shock at a time from my mum who had already prepared the dinner (plain boiled vegetables with soup, and chapati), I just could not breathe easy. My throat choked, I just then got up and walked away to my room. And guess what, he was in steroids for a year and had gradually reduced the intake. I took a deep breathe and freshend up soon to resume our general chit-chats. Me and my mum keenly listening to his stories of pain forgot even to see the clock. It ticked 11 and dad ordered 'chalo chalo, lets eat'. I wash the plates and keep it on the table and mum busy heating the food and dad was just waiting for the food. I asked uncle to come to the table and only realized he had a huge syringe injected into his stomach. An unimaginable scene!!! That's the way he took medicine generally and regularly. He was anyway told by a guruji that he would be 100% fine by October. And so we all were in smiles hoping its only some more dark days in his life. He joined us and soon we were filling our tank. Uncle was very sorry that coz of him we had to eat such light weight food. And to that I reply 'once in a while, eating this food is tastier than the normal masala and tadka wala food, so don't u pity for nothing'. I then bid good night to all three of them as they had soon started discussing on some Sanskrit topics which were all bouncers for me.

4th June 09
I wake up and clean up myself lil bit and then take my cup of coffee and sit with the paper ( a routine work) and then clean up my bird's cage and feed them with bajra. Uncle had to leave today to Pondycherry. After all he had come to take REST for a month or so. He leaves for his small trip and we all resume with our routine works.

6th June 09
I wake up and clean up myself lil bit and then take my cup of coffee and sit with the paper ( a routine work) and then clean up my bird's cage and feed them with bajra.
I know its the same sentence but then thats what i do every morning. I am eating my breakfast and mum in the kitchen and dad doing pooja. Just then dad received a call in his mobile from 'B...' (names not be disclosed for personal reasons). I pass it on to dad. The conversation though i did not hear the other side, I at least made it out.

Dad: 'Hello, han B...'
B... : ' 'A is no more'
Dad: 'what???'
He stands up with trembling hands. me and mum are shocked that dad 'What???' had a very panicking tone.
Dad:"when? and Why did he do that'
Me and mum now understood that A (My uncle) has ended his life.
B... confirmed the news and dad hung up the phone.

Dad and mum were terribly upset and angry, scolding my uncle for his action. He did not even think of his 2 daughters. He abruptly ended his life. Dad was in a heavy shock and me and mum were trembling with fear (fear of voidness, fear of having lost someone dear). I controlled my tears, not showing parents that I was upset too. I start to office and on the way tears dint stop to show up. I was in tears and me trembling even while on the way. All the past memories got re winded and seemed as if I was again ordering him to have chicken, the thick dal, aloo ka bharta and kheer.

He had a tough time with his wife and also with self. He was sick for a very long time and while he did not have any courage to wait until October for his good health, he abruptly ended it. I only could search his photo in the Google and saw a CV of his lying on the net. and trust me the CV was as long as a seminar paper...! I wish I could give the link here...but...!

I only wish he rests in peace at least after his after-life. I wish his daughters have the courage to face the world. And I wish his wife stays happier ever.

And I wish he could support the 6 PhD grads under him and the 3 M.A students. I wish he could complete the researches he has left incomplete...I wish he could just be back on earth and live another innings...I wish I just could cook Aloo ka bharta, Chicken and Kheer fro him... I wish I never wished...but I do wish...!!!